I’ve been a mother for close on 8 years now. Which means I should be pretty in touch with that maternal gut instinct right? You know that one that comes the moment that baby is placed in your arms. The whole “eyes at the back of your head, knowing what they’re doing every second of the day” – vibe should be ingrained in my bones by now.
But it’s not.
In my case anyway.
Yesterday I had two troubling bits of feedback for two out of three of my children. That’s more than half guys. If this were a test, I’d be failing it.
I don’t really want to elaborate on what it was exactly because I don’t want my kids to look back on this one day and hate me, but suffice to say that they were struggling in certain areas and I was none the wiser. I’m sure that if I look back on it in hindsight, I will roll my eyes at myself. Like, why am I making such a big issue out of nothing, but right now at this moment it feels big. So I’m going to work through it.
Honestly I took the feedback hard, as I think all mothers do. If someone is not saying lovely things about your children the natural instinct is to get our backs up and defences out! That was me. Except all internally because I don’t do confrontation. And it really wasn’t a confrontation matter anyway, they were just expressing concerns in a loving way. I just felt down because it was my own flesh and blood as the topic.
Now, I think you should know something about me. Or more so, about us. We are not the over-reacting type of folk. It takes a lot of convincing for me to feel like I need to act on other peoples opinions. Take the physio and speech therapy that they’ve been recommending for Knox. They started telling me about that 3 years ago. I only actually got Knox into Physio at the end of last year and Speech only this year. Because not everything needs action right away. For example we were similarly told that Kyla has low muscle tone and needs to go to Physio but she is basically a gymnast now – doing things so crazy on the monkey bars I’m scared to look. All she needed was a bit of time to get herself there. We gave Knox the time, we reassessed and then decided to intervene. Each situation is different.
We took a judgement call based on our gut feelings at the time and it worked out for her. And the same for Knox and the physio and speech.
But in this case, I’m not sure what my gut is telling me to do.
And really, it’s far too early to do anything anyway. I think (after hashing it out with Seth last night), we’re going to go our usual route and watch, wait and see what happens.
What’s really eating at me,is that I actually feel a little blindsided by this feedback. With the other things I knew it was coming, but with this I didn’t really think it was an issue. Now I am at a point that I just want to do it for them. But I can’t. They’re their own people. They have to learn and grow and make mistakes along the way. We as parents, just need to be available and aware of any potential issues as they crop up and figure out how to deal with them as they come.
So again, there’s no real resolve here. But I just had to get it out because if I don’t write about it, I can’t move on.
Time to move on. Onwards and upwards I say.