Oh internet. You have done it again.
Just yesterday I was reading fantastic blog posts about how we need more imperfect parenting in our lives (thanks B for bringing it up – I totes agree with everything she mentioned). We tend to show everyone the good things and not really acknowledge the bad things – it’s a problem yo. But I’d just finished reading that post when I was then told that some people are so negative they should rather close their accounts.
So where does that leave us then?
A couple of weeks ago now, my friend and I were chatting about the perceptions we create of ourselves online. And then I just casually mused something like, “I wonder what people think of me?” And so then she told me. Because people tend to talk to her about things like that and well, I asked. I was honestly quite shocked. Apparently the general consensus is that we (or rather I) create this impression of being “perfect”. I literally laughed out loud because like, what the flip people? Can’t you even read? I talk about all the crap I have to deal with all the time. My friend then mentioned that I happen to do it with humour, so maybe it’s not perceived the way it actually is. Or maybe no one actually reads this blog at all.
Either way, this has been floating around in my head for weeks now. I hate that I may be giving the impression that I have it all together. Because honestly I really don’t. And if this perception of me looking like I have it all together is making you feel like you don’t, then I am even more gutted. That is NOT how I want you to feel. Ever. Because if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, I’d hope you’d know me a little bit better by now.
But back to the internet.
You aren’t allowed to only show the good things in your life because then you are basically unrelatable but if you happen to be going through a rough time and all you do is mention negative things, then you should rather just stop. I think both have their own valid argument. But at the same time, your social is your own and if others don’t like it, then welcome to the unfollow button am I right?
The thing with being a blogger (but also a person who actually enjoys connecting on social), is that I tend to connect with a lot of diverse people on the various platforms. Which means that I am constantly scrolling through the highlights reel of the people I went to school with, work with or knew from some distant function I went to that time I was 16.
Then I also choose to follow people that I don’t know but feel like I can identify with. Or that make me think. Or that just give me that giggle when I need it. But somewhere in all of that are people that I choose to follow because they share beautiful content. So beautiful that they make me less content with my kids who flat out refuse to wear anything I choose for them unless I bribe them with some kind of treat. I’ve personally been struggling with this because I tend to follow some really curated accounts. Accounts where it is their JOB to produce amazing looking content. I mean how can I even compare myself to that? I can’t. And I shouldn’t. So I’m taking away that temptation to feel less than…
I’ve stopped following all those perfectly curated Instagram accounts.
— Cindy Alfino (@CindyAlfino) July 4, 2017
It’s been quite liberating.
Now, in case you feel like I don’t share enough of my real life, let me enlighten you as to a few things that I have completely messed up in parenting – just in the last couple of weeks.
- My girls need navy blue gumboots in order to play outside during break. Has the school told me this about one bajillion times? Yup? Have I looked for gumboots? Yup, that one time I thought about it. Do they have navy blue gumboots? Nope. So do they play outside during break (on wet muddy days)? Nope.
- We no longer have a discipline technique that works with Knox in order to get him to actually eat his vegetables. It used to be that the threat of a smack would get him chowing down so quickly, but then the other day he said, “OK, smack me. I want to see how it feels today”. Which kind of means that he’d rather get the smack than eat the veg. So then we resorted to taking away his most precious toys (all the Paw Patrol and Superhero’s). Did he eat his vegetables last night? Nope.
- I’m considering going back to feeding my ALMOST FIVE YEAR OLD in order to get him to actually freaking eat.
- We have takeaway at least twice a week. There I said it. If it’s not Monks Chinese, it’s fish and chips and sometimes even Steers burgers. Life is hectic yo, I just don’t always get to making it from scratch. And also, I like takeaways.
- Knox used to sleep the whole night in his own bed, but since it’s been Winter, he is back in bed with us in the early hours of every morning. I know I should take him back to his bed but it’s cold and I don’t want to. I’m lazy like that. So instead we all have a totally crap sleep, which includes trying to maintain my pillow space, not fall off the 5 cm I have to lie on at the edge of the bed and having our blankets kicked off every 10 seconds.
- Sometimes I skip bathing them for a day. I tell myself I’m trying to help with the drought but in reality it’s because I’m lazy, I’ve planned the day badly and we’ve run out of time or I just totally forget.
- We regularly run out of nice things to put in their lunch boxes. Because we don’t do bread it really takes a toll. I’m not sure how long they can survive on a couple rice crackers and fumes.
- There are occasions that my kids ask me to play with them and I say no. Not because I’m busy, but because I don’t want to. Then I potter around the kitchen looking busy until they go away.
- On the weekends I let them watch hours of safe TV so that I can sleep in in peace. I don’t even feel bad that by the time I arise, their eyes are rectangles.
- I hate their rooms – everything is a mess, totally mismatched and just small. In fact I feel like this about everything in our house except for the lounge, which is why all our pictures are in front of the fire place. AKA, the only picture perfect looking place in our house.
There you have it. I hope that makes you feel just a little bit better about everything? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and whether you struggle like I do?