In our house we are nearly always discussing this topic, often just after we finally plop into bed after a hectic evening with the girls, or when they are both going crazy/sick at once, or when we are out buying nappies or the like. The Great Debate in our house at the moment (actually for a while now, as I wrote this about 2 months ago) is… I’m almost afraid to say it… Ok… Whether we should stick to just 2 kids or go for the 4 that we have always talked about… I know, I know… How can I think about this so soon after just having had another baby (Riya is only 7 months).
Although I have come from a small family of just 2 kids, I have always dreamed about having a big family. I wished (and often still wish) that I had a sister and not only a brother (even though I sometimes dressed him up like a sister when he was young enough to be ignorant about it). It’s so silly, but I would really dig to have 2 girls and 2 boys, that way each has a brother and a sister. Although ultimately the Lord decides what we will have. I am looking forward to the bonds that you will be able to make with each unique child and how those unique traits will make an interesting (and probably hectic) family life.
I like to plan things. I want to know how we need to spend our money, how much to save etc etc. But most importantly and so much more shallowly (yes that’s a word) I want to know if I should bother “getting my body back” now or rather waiting till the abuse to it is completely finished. Pregnancy took a major toll on my body, besides being so ridiculously sick all the time with Riya, I have all the other aftermath effects that go with pregnancy (which I won’t go into detail about). I know it’s lame and that most people suffer with some of these things and live with it problem free, but I just can’t be happy this way. Right now you are probably thinking that I am the most self centred loser that you have ever come across, but seriously am I the only person that feels this way post-baby?!? I don’t think that it is completely wrong to want to feel attractive, for myself and therefore for Seth. Obviously it can be a major stumbling block/idol and I know that I need to constantly keep that in check, although I often fail miserably.
Anyway, I digress.
Some of my other motivating factors on the side of “Stick With 2” are:
* How the heck can we afford 4? That’s always the first thing that people say when they hear that we aren’t “done” having kids. To school them, feed them, clothe them, transport them to various activities, pay for the involvement in those activities and so much more… Like if we have 4 girls – that’s 4, FOUR, weddings!!! Not to mention the 4 matric dances and various other situations that they may find themselves in that require expensive dresses and other things that go with it. Although girls always want lots of clothes anyway! But boys are expensive too, they break windows and want sport equipment and cars etc.
* Can we even handle more? I often find myself struggling with just the 2. I know they are crazy close together and that is a big factor, but being that that is all that I have experienced, it’s hard to see past that. Also I doubt very much if we could abuse the kindness that Colleen (Seth’s mom) has showed us by giving her 2 more kids to look after every day although the older 2 will be at Play School for the mornings.
* Space! We only have a 3 bedroomed house, so we would have to make them share (like the girls already are) and possibly build on or move… Then there’s the car… The Clio really isn’t even big enough for the 4 of us at the moment…
Some of the motivating factors on the side of “Let’s Go For 4” are:
* I’ve always wanted to… And that’s a valid reason.
* Although it’s a lot of hard work and money etc etc, it’s so amazingly worth it!
I would love to hear from Mom’s with more than 2 kiddo’s. Any advice/opinions/thoughts you could give would be awesome.
I will be the first to say that Cindys feelings about her body are ridiculous, and I will leave it there because I don’t want to gross people out about what I think.
I honestly feel like I can handle another 2. If its a real yearning and Gods chooses to bless us with 2 more, we shouldn’t worry. I know thats easy to say, but its true. In every situation we have ever faced the Lord has provided, maybe not always in abundance, but always perfectly enough. So I have no doubt that if we pray about it and seek the Lords will, that we will look back at this blog whenever and be amazed at what God has done. Be it if we stick with 2 or have 10.