The Gecko Whisperer

We all have our fears…  Heights, flying, snakes, spiders cockroaches, moths…  Gecko’s?!?!

Seth has this heart stopping, body freezing fear for Geckos.  Put him in a room with one of them and he will not take his eyes away from it and – if he can get away without coming too close to the thing – he will make a bee line for the door.  If one gets any closer to him he starts dancing like a mad freak – but more about that later.

I think that he has the ability to read these creatures minds, know what they thinking and where they are…  He will go outside and pick up a broom and say, “there’s a gecko in here” – low and behold when tapped on the floor a poor little Gecky (my affectionate name for them) falls out, wiggling on the floor.  Sending him into shudders and the need to constantly pat himself down – in case it got on him.

Summer is the worst!  They are everywhere!!  I am complaining because I have become the designated Gecko Getter Outterer.  Pregnant or not I have to woman up and remove the tailless creature from the premises – yes, premises…  I have to drop them down the road…  I can’t kill the poor things and they cannot run the risk of returning…

Yes, this is a massive lizard (slightly worse than gecko’s but not because they stay outside), it decided to go for swim in the dogs water bowl.  But he couldn’t get it out…  I had to go to the end of the road before setting him free…

But out of this comes my most favourite story…  So back to the fact that Seth can feel gecko’s – know where they are before they know where they are.  Like the one time we were sitting in the lounge and he randomly says…  “There’s a gecko under me”…  Unbelievably there was a squashed little body right under his butt!  What are the chances?!

I was on maternity leave for Kyla, when Seth left for work one day…  After merrily starting the car and pulling out of the driveway into our busy road (we are opposite a primary school drop off zone), he felt something cold on his skin… Under his top…  As usual the first thought is “it must be a gecko” (wouldn’t that be your first thought too?! No? Oh…  Me neither…).  Anyway, I can actually picture the way it all unfolds…

He gets a nervous dread feeling in his gut and his hands inadvertently start sweating.  He reaches down to view the cold item.  He pulls out his hand and inside is a large-ish gecko staring up at him.  He throws it to the floor, then realises the mistake he made being confined in a car.  He tries to squash it, but it runs up into the dashboard…  He jumps out the car (in the middle of the busy road) and begins to undress himself in front of all the children and parents, all while smacking himself and doing a wiggly jiggly dance – kind of resembling a gecko…

At this point my mom drove passed, stopped and tried to help the poor man out!  He had to drive her car in to work and for a MONTH after that I had to check the car for the poor creature before he would get in!

I feel for him, but flip it can be funny!

HEY!! What a mean post but I can’t really deny it. Geckos come from Satan. It’s the only explanation. All my life I have been terrified of the wriggling evil little things. I almost always get what I can only explain as spider man’s spider sense before I encounter one. It’s strange I know, but this world was not made for Geckos and I to co-exist.