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3 Kids, 2 Dogs and 1 Old House

A Day In The Life Of The Alfino'sFrom MomMom and DadParenting Fail

So This (Kind Of) Explains Why I Want To Punch Him When He Wants To Go Out With The Boys

22 January 2014
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It’s Seth’s birthday soon (like on the 5th of Feb soon!) and I have been wracking my brain on what to do for him.

Party details aside, what you have to know is that when we decide on a theme, I like to go all out.  Some may say that I might actually totally lose the plot and spend hours of my life cutting out thousands of butterflies to then string and hang up for just one afternoon’s worth of kids party, but well, I guess they are actually right.

And even though that kid might only have just turned 1 and didn’t even have the inclination to turn her little head up to see them – it was still worth it.  I cut out every single little butterfly knowing that one day she might look back on these photo’s and know that her mother put in these crazy hours to do these little insignificant things because her mother loves her with all of her stinking old heart (yes, that’s right Kyla and Riya – that’s what you should take out of these posts if you ever do bother to read them).

Anyway…

So I’m trying to plan Seth’s party right.  I decide on a theme that is just so “HIM” that I am getting that twitch of excitement in my eye.  My planning book is out, lists are made and my head is going nuts with all the Pinterest images I’ve seen that I can now implement in our house to make it fit in perfectly with the theme.  Each little thing that I think of that blows my mind may take a few hours to do and set up but, like I said, it will be worth it.

IMG_20140121_151403

Flash forward to a couple of days (and a LOT of decorating in my head) later when I start getting little Skypes from Seth suggesting places to use instead.  Where we just rock up, eat and be merry, pay and then leave.  Which to most people would be the ideal party.  But oh not for this spaz over here…

It made me want to cry.

I knew I was so silly, but I just couldn’t help but feel like my shows of affection (in the form of crazy party planning) were just being snubbed – not cool bru, not cool.

But it got me thinking about love languages and how Sharon was talking about her love language the other day, and seeing as I didn’t really know mine, I went and took a test.  *Nerd alert*

The questions got me pondering our relationship and while it didn’t answer how I show love, it did show me how I feel loved.  Apparently my biggest thing is face time – quality time – real together time – nothing distracting him from me time.  Which totally explains why my first reaction (upon hearing the words, “Can I go out with ***  to do ***”) is “OH HELL NO” and is almost always swiftly followed by me wanting to smack him upside the head for just thinking about it!  The next love language in line is receiving (well thought out) gifts and words of affirmation.  I could almost totally go without physical affection and acts of service.

Take the test – the results were really interesting (because they explain it a whole lot more that I did up there).

So we sat and chatted it out.

According to Seth (without taking the test) his love language is Acts Of Service.  Which totally confudles me because this means bringing him a beer, but not spending hours making pretty polaroid bunting of photo’s of him growing up.

Men are so weird.

This excerise was a really good one for me

So This (Kind Of) Explains Why I Want To Punch Him When He Wants To Go Out With The Boys was last modified: January 22nd, 2014 by Cindy
acts of serviceblogCape Townfamilylovelove languagemarriageparentingpersonalphysical touchquality timerandomreceiving giftsrelationshipsshowing lovestorywords of affirmation
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10 comments

Lizanne Pitt 22 January 2014 at 9:21 AM

Have it at your place and then you can leave the decor up for a while… and then I don’t need to worry about my kid disappearing 🙂

Reply
Simon Paton 22 January 2014 at 11:01 AM

You can then enjoy the decor ironically 😉

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Sarah-The Mommy City 22 January 2014 at 2:26 PM

Sent hubby the love language test and turns out acts of service is at the bottom of his list but at the top of mine – explains a lot. Who would have guessed he didn’t want to help me with the house work?! Cutting out thousands of butterflies and agonizing over Pinterest boards for inspiration has to be the greatest show of love I think – but my 2 year also not interested – what’s up with that.

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cat@jugglingact 22 January 2014 at 3:32 PM

Awh I feel for you Cindy.

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NickiD 22 January 2014 at 8:50 PM

Just discovered your blog and loved this post 🙂 About to do the test now to see how my husband and I work … because he’s ALL about giving and receiving rally OTT gifts and I know that I am all about constant verbal praise and support …

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Cindy 22 January 2014 at 8:54 PM

It’s so interesting to see what makes each other tick. Turns out, (after taking the test) Seth’s love language is physical touch and not even acts of service. No wonder I couldn’t ever get it right 😉

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Kristi Fraser 23 January 2014 at 3:21 AM

tie-dye… ,o)

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That Mommy Guilt Thing | 3 Kids, 2 Dogs, 1 Old House 28 October 2014 at 7:17 AM

[…] spending time with my kids and husband is of huge importance in my life.  It’s my love language I think.  Spending (quality) time with me shows me that you love me.  So because that’s how I feel […]

Reply
Hannah 9 February 2017 at 10:03 PM

I constantly want to punch *him in the face when he wants to go out with the boys, or work peeps. I never understood why. I used to blame it on me being the only responsible one for the kids but now I realize it has nothing to do with them.

Thank you ?

Reply
321Blog 10 February 2017 at 10:53 AM

I just so glad that you feel the same way and I’m not crazy all on my own here 😉

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After living a very normal suburban life we packed up everything to live in a VW van for a year as a family of 5. Now that we have traveled our beautiful country we are back to normal but trying to remember what it was like to live with less, spend time in nature and build on our family bonds. Join us on the journey.

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