It was just another day for us.
Me clutching both girls by the hand, reigning both of them from trying to hop into the road while trying desperately to miss the cracks between the paving stones. Seth was carrying our enormous nappy bag over one shoulder, with a sleeping Knox tucked into his shoulder. We were all hungry, we were slightly lost and Knox was getting heavy.
We rushed past the Vida Cafe where two ladies were having a coffee date. As our rather frazzled but fairly happy brood passed them, one of the ladies commented something about whether we would consider having more kids. It was a brief moment that we are fairly accustomed to, I guess seeing our little circus running past can be alarming enough to feel the need to comment on it. Like I said, we’re used to it, so we kind of laughed it off and continued our journey.
A couple of seconds later, Kyla was tugging at my arm. When I looked down at her she said, “Mommy, 3 is enough hey?”.
I did a bit of a double take. I mean, seriously, how did she put that all together and probably, more importantly, I have said that often enough to make it stick in her head…
There are many moments in my parenting journey that I look back on and cringe.
It could be the time that we accidentally gave Kyla a bowl full of formula that we had mistaken for porridge (or any of the things mentioned in that post actually) or so many other times that don’t even make it to the blog (because you can’t put a funny twist on everything you know).
But this one in particular had me slightly stumped as to why I felt so bad about it. I think at the root of it is that I don’t want them to ever think that they are a burden and isn’t that basically what “3 is enough” kind of implies?
Yes, sometimes life is hard, the sleepless nights are tough, the bills are even tougher and sometimes I snap more than I want to, but I couldn’t be happier. I have always wanted children. I have mentioned it before, but I was so broody before we had kids, that I would come home from visiting friends with babies and just cry and cry and cry. My 3 babies have very thoroughly filled that aching gap in my heart.
There are many things that I value in this life, my business, my blog, my “me time” and so many other little things too, but at the forefront of all of those is my family. To me there is nothing more important that being so very present in their lives to ensure that they know that they are loved and cherished.
We may not always have everything perfectly under control, but at the root of it, I don’t think that even matters.
Also Coco, is possibly the happiest running dog I have ever seen!
12 comments
lovely family pictures, they look so happy playing ringa roses. I always wanted 4 children, because I felt 3 was such an odd number and my daughters were very close leaving my son the odd one out. Finances would never allow for that and looking back 3 was just perfect!
I’ve started getting annoyed when people assume that since we have a boy and a girl, we are finished having children. I find society’s disdain for children or at least placing selfishness over children quite frustrating. I don’t assume that others should believe as we do, but it sucks that we get ostracized for following our convictions… Heck for accepting blessings. But hey, that’s my two cents worth.
I have the opposite problem. We have 1 child. And right now, that 1 child is the perfect number for our family. Everybody keeps asking when we are going to give her a brother or sister. Even the Sister at Clicks that gives me my family planning looks at me all funny when I pop in for a refill. Everyone assumes that because she is an only child that she is lonely. No one seems to think that my husband’s godchild, who has lived with us since before Jae-Lyn was even born, counts as a brother? Maybe we will have more, maybe we won’t. I’m not too worried about an age gap etc. For now life is awesome!
I wish I could have many more kids! I wish it wasn’t down to money! I’ve always wanted a big family, and like Liz said, I often get the comment “you have your pigeon pair, so you must be done” EVEN MY HUBBY THINKS THAT! lol!
I do think about the nappies and the sleepless nights and I think, do I REALLLLLLY want to go back there? But truthfully, I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again!
As you know, we have only got Zoe, who is now ten. She is not my biological child. People – both who (I thought) know me quite well and those who don’t, have often told me I am selfish for not wanting my own children. They tell me it’s cruel for Zoe to be an only child. They tell me the only reason I love Zoe as much as I do, is because I don’t have any children of my own. Those who are threatened by my love for and relationship with her say they wish I had my own children because I would lose interest in Zoe. NOTHING has ever hurt me quite as much. How do they know I haven’t been trying for the last few years to fall pregnant? How do they know I am not fighting infertility? Who do they think they are to say I only love Zoe because I don’t have my own, or that I will stop loving her when we have more children? That’s like telling a mom of one who is expecting number two, that she won’t be so fond of or interested in number one once she meets the new baby!
Yes of course I want more children, and I want a BIG family. And yes I respect YOUR choice to have one, or none, or 7 children. when did it become OK to judge, question, assume and criticize friends and strangers for the most personal decision in their lives? Instead of questioning from a point of judgement, why not simply ask what made them decide on 0/1/7 children? Be open to their reasons and accept and love them regardless.
OK – I have totally just rambled and word vomited all over your comments, perhaps I need to do my own blog post about this!
I think your 3 are flipping gorgeous, and have huge admiration for any parents doing the best they can for their brood!
Being pregnant with number three – I’m already feeling like 3 is enough. I have always wanted four children, but this time around I’m leaning heavily towards just having the 3 and enjoying them. But we’ll see. I love the bouts of chaos
I never realised how much big families were walking circus acts until I had one. Now we can’t go out without someone commenting.
We make lots of jokes about having a big family with the kids but I do agree there is a line between them feeling like they are “enough” and feeling like they are loved.
Those are beautiful pictures of them playing together! They’ll treasure those pictures so much when they’re adults. I guess 3 children doesn’t seem like a big family to me because one of my sister-in-laws has 8 kids and when I say I only want 3 they’re horrified at the tiny number.
Baaaaahahahahaha!!! Coco is funny!!! haaaahahaha
[…] It must be said that you are so much more than just a gorgeous little girl on the outside, your beauty shines from the inside too. The way you lovingly play with Riya and Knox absolutely warms my heart, even when you teach them the naughty stuff (like how to climb up the back of the couch). The way you join in on conversations and your little insights into how your mind works often has me back tracking, wondering how you could even understand that yet. […]
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