Before I became a Mom I hardly felt guilty about anything.
I used my time as I liked. Sleeping half of it away and spending the rest of it with Seth doing what we loved to do. Going out wasn’t so much a special occasion as it was just what we did – a day in was far more notable as it hardly ever happened.
And in spite of that freedom I was DESPERATE for children.
Fast forward 5 years. Yes five years. And here we are in the thick of it.
Being a Mom is a term that I easily use to define myself now. Woman, Christian, wife, business partner, sister, daughter, animal lover, moth hater and so many other “defining” things are often forgotten because I feel like “being a Mom” is my primary focus. (Let’s just say that I am aware that my priorities are slightly skewed but that’s for another post).
Basically spending time with my kids and husband is of huge importance in my life. It’s my love language I think. Spending (quality) time with me shows me that you love me. So because that’s how I feel loved, I assume everyone is the same.
Does that make sense? Probably not.
But indulge me a little will you.
So because I feel like I need to give my family (all) of my time in order for them to feel suitably loved by me, I start feeling incredibly guilty when I am away from them.
For example. I work till 2ish every day so that I can be with them every afternoon and last week (on a day that we usually stay at my in laws for supper – so we’re there anyway for the afternoon) I was invited to a High Tea and only got home at 6pm (thanks to traffic that I totally forgot happens when I’m not usually in it). Anyway, although I THOROUGHLY enjoyed my afternoon indulging and chatting, I couldn’t shake the little voice inside that was calling me to go home.
I’m not saying that it’s right to justify this guilt thing, but I feel like that’s where I am supposed to be.
Also, I know that we need to make sure that as Moms we have “me time” in order to function – same goes for your relationship needing alone time together, like date nights. It’s important.
Where am I going with all of this? Well, I feel that this little internet space is moving faster than I can keep up with it. I’m not going to lie, every time I get a little email in my inbox my tummy jumps with excitement. Add in the fact that I have serious FOMO condition and know that saying “NO!” is hard for me. Being invited to things (blog related or even just regular social occasions) simultaneously leaves me feeling incredible excited but incredibly guilty.
This may all be bubbling to the surface this week because in the next two weeks Seth and I will be going away for a night and then also going to the opening of the Galileo Theatre which just happens to start at 6. So twice in one week I am leaving them when I shouldn’t be. Do I sound crazy? I feel like I do. It’s just two days. Both a good distance from the other and with lots of other things that we will be doing together as a family to sandwich it in.
Flipping Mommy Guilt.
Do you ever struggle with this? Is leaving your kids easier for you? Am I just bonkers?