It’s really hard to be truly content nowadays isn’t it?
Obviously the problem lies with everyones perfect lives being just one tap and scroll away. Accessible anywhere you are, as long as you have your mobile in hand and a relatively good data bundle. You’re probably thinking, “Look at them, with their mid-morning coffees and delectable pastries, or their cozy beds and interesting books, or their amazing holiday destinations, or their new dress (and skinny bodies), or their perfect children (who weren’t bribed to pose for the picture) – I wish I had one/all of those”. We might roll our eyes at another amazing restaurant review or gaze with longing at the prospect of a kids free brunch or turn downright green at that perfect new “thing” (insert your favourite thing accordingly), but still we scroll further, taking more in and feeling more and more discontent with what we have at home.
Yes, we tell ourselves that they are only showing the best of themselves and that we should take everything with a pinch of salt. But still we find ourselves throwing around statements like “come on, be more real” or “where did all the real people go?”. As with most things in life we want to be reassured that we are not alone, that we are not the only ones with crying children, or an overflowing laundry basket or a flabby tummy. But no one shows that side of them though, because it’s scary.
Failing in finding “real people” to engage with, we find ourselves considering removing ourselves from various social platforms to both stop us from wasting time on it but also stop feeding ourselves with reasons to feel discontent. Some of my friends do this regularly, either taking intermittent breaks or closing their accounts forever. Inevitably they come back online eventually (the curse of our age is that so often we are left out accidentally if we do not have an online presence).
But doing that is just not realistic for me. I love social media. I think the fact that this blog is still here is evidence of that. Sometimes with the crazy busy way of life, it’s my life line to see what my friends are doing, because it’s going to be another couple of weeks before we will see each other again.
I need to find another solution for managing these feelings that sometimes pop up out of nowhere.
After doing a bit of research on good old Google, I have realised that the only one that can manage that discontent is me. When those situations arise where I feel those feeling rise up in me I need to take stock of what I’ve got. Here’s what I do when I feel discontent:
- Put my phone down and open up a good book
- Have a meaningful/funny conversation with my partner or my kids.
- Connect with friends by making play dates/girls nights/whatsapping to catch up and vent a little
- Finding a new hobby that I enjoy and put my heart into it (in case you’re wondering, this little blog is it!)
- Make small changes in how I use technology – specifically not opening or reading anything online if I’m feeling particularly unhappy.
How do you manage discontent in your life?
14 comments
Managing Discontent http://t.co/7Whjw4qh2S
I look at your photos from selfies in the car and family trips and think “damn why don’t my photos come out as pretty”.
Yes I get it. I love your managing list.
Great post Cindy – I think this is an issue that raises it’s ugly head for all of us, often! It’s something we all need to be aware of and then make active choices to see the good in our own lives… and of course post pics of our laundry baskets – something I almost did last week but then I drowned under it….
I think being over 40 makes it all less of an issue. By now I know that their lives are not perfect – live and let live,
This is me all the time and unfortunately my husband gets the worst of it. He is an amazing man that spends his whole pay check on bills and keeping us going every month. There’s no money for extra’s. Then I’d see a post of a fellow mama who got this ‘just because I love you’ jewellery or Spa day gift from her husband and I would recent mine cause he never gives me stuff. This was a big issue when Ben was born and all the other new moms posted their push presents and I got nothing (because my husband was working his ass off to pay hospital bills) It made me feel unappreciated and un special. I’ve made some great friends over social media and love it but sometimes I wish I could just delete it all.
I’m with Cat, perhaps it is an age thing. It used to be something that really bugged me but I simply don’t care anymore. Sure I look at other peoples lives and wonder…. but I do believe from my own experience of sharing online that what you see online is just a tiny snap shot, a snippet into a much larger life that is just as full of up’s and down’s as mine is.
I go outside and play with my son :0 jump on the trampoline. 🙂
Love
I can relate to this on SO many levels, Cindy. Thank YOU for always keeping it real, and for nailing it on the head in so many ways. I’m on social media all day, every day for my job, so it can be difficult not to see other people’s posts and feel a little twinge of jealousy. I find that stopping myself when I feel the green monster emerging and thinking of five things that I’m grateful for helps a whole lot. Cheesy? Maybe – but it works for me! xxx
If I’m not rolling my eyes at how pretentious and attention-seeking some people are, then I do reassure myself that people prefer sharing the goods rather than the bads. I guess it’s human nature? Either way, the one thing that always works is knowing that I’ve achieved so many of my own personal goals I’ve set for myself. Nobody needs to know, see a picture or watch a video about it… I know about it, and that’s all that matters 🙂
(also, we all have a lot to be grateful for! We just have to keep reminding ourselves).
and this is why i love ur blog, and what Liezel Kriel said is how i feel to
It doesn’t bug me much anymore because its never as perfect as it seems.
[…] thing I’m struggling with revolves around the management of discontent that I wrote about the other day. Yes, there’s my need to control how I feel towards other […]
[…] from Facebook! And I also agree with Cindy over at 3 Kids 2 Dogs 1 Old House where she talked about managing discontent and how our access to people’s lives can make us feel inadequate or that we’re missing […]