Behind The Scenes Of A Mixed Race Couple – Samantha Marchant

Tell us a little bit about yourself – what you do, what you like to spend your time on etc – My name is Samantha, I like it when people call me Sam. I am a student who matriculated in 2013. I’ll be studying events management next year. I’m very involved in my church (Sowers of the Word in Rondebosch East) and I play the keyboard in our church band. In my spare time I like to play music, sing, play games (pc games), cook, bake and watch TV (not counting spending time with my loved one).

Tell us a little bit about your partner – what they do, what they like to spend time on etc – My name is Chalin. I am a student in my second last year of studying IT, specialising in software development. I am also very involved in our church (the same church) and I’m our church’s bassist as well. I go to gym every day, either before or after college. In my spare time I like to take long drives along the coast, play games (pc games), watch movies and take my dog for a walk (also not counting spending time with my loved one).

How and when did you meet your partner? –  We went to the same school for 8 years, but please believe me when I tell you that we did not say ONE word to each other. I mean like, not even a second glance when we passed each other in the passages. Then my friend invited me to her youth (when I was 19) and, when I recognized the face in the far corner, she told me that we went to the same school and then it all made sense. (At this point we hadn’t seen each other in about 3 years.) We “caught up” over the fact that we are both into faith and being spiritual. That’s the first time we actually spoke to each other and met really. (August 2014)

Give us a bit of insight into your racial/cultural backgrounds. –  I’m a white girl who grew up in a white family, white church, coloured area and attended 3 “coloured” schools. I grew up in a certain indoctrination and was exposed to a completely different one when I went to school. Chalin is a coloured guy whose parents are from Durban and indoctrinated with a Zulu and Indian culture. Chalin grew up in a coloured area in Cape Town, went to a mostly coloured school and a mixed church.

Where do you live?  Does how you are “accepted” change when you visit different places? I live in Ottery. I’m generally accepted here but that might only be because I have been here my whole life. When I go out, I’m also generally accepted pretty much wherever I go. (I don’t go to places like Khayelitsha, Cape Flats, etc.) Chalin stays in Plumstead. He is accepted anywhere and everywhere he goes. Even the places I wouldn’t go to.

I know babies may not be on the cards right now, but do you have any fears/excitement about having “mixed race” babies in the future?   We are personally very excited to have “mixed race” babies in the future.  This is partially because we will be one of the first few couples to BUILD our rainbow nation. (For me – Sam – I despise the stigma that was always attached to me for merely being a white person, and would love it if my kids don’t experience that as well.)

What kind of role does race play in your family dynamic?  Family dynamics have nothing to do with race for us. Why should family change when a new race is introduced?

How have your families reacted to your relationship? Both families are really happy. None of our parents/family members (whose opinions matter to us) are racist.

Are there big differences in your relationship that are affected by your heritage/culture?  We aren’t married (yet) but after thinking about it, we cannot come up with any potential differences. None of our cultural/heritage norms affect our relationship. With regards to South African culture in general, we are still at the stage where seeing mixed race couples isn’t something you see every day.

What are some of the ignorant and hurtful things that have been said to you and your partner about this issue?  Nobody has really said anything to either of us with any intentions OR results of offense on that topic. We do, however, get looked at quite a lot in public places such as the mall. And all the people who have given us ‘looks’ have only been around people of their own race.

Do you have any advice for those in a mixed race relationship that are facing judgement because of it?      Stop caring about other people’s opinions.

If you see me in the mall please come and high five me!! Lol, but importantly, the fact that you are in a mixed race relationship shows that you have a beautiful heart by just accepting the other person. That amount of strength and beauty should never let the opinions of those who don’t share that characteristic get to them and ESPECIALLY not affect their relationship.