There are many changes that we go through as women.
From awkwardly trying to cover up our spotty faces in high school to adapting to how our bodies have changed, asking questions like, “You mean I’m supposed to put that little vampire teabag where now?” and, “Hey chesticles isn’t it time to start growing yet?”. We might go on to do various things like studying or working or traveling the World. We’ll probably get into good and bad relationships, learn from them and move on. And maybe we find ourselves a guy who we can grow old with, one that loves more than the outside appearance and can put up with you not cleaning the kitchen after you make supper. (Just me?)
The most profound change for me was becoming a Mother. Being a Mom is all I ever wanted to be, but when it actually happened I really did a double take. The reality was so much harder than the dream that I had in my head.
Right now you’re probably thinking:
“Yes, we get it Cindy, you felt overwhelmed as a Mom. Shut up already.”
I know I talk about it a lot. Being overwhelmed and all. But over the weekend I went to my sister in laws baby shower where she asked us to say a little something as we created a birth necklace, for her to wear during the birth of of my soon to be nephew.
It was my turn to talk and as I took the needle with the thread and started to talk, all I could do was cry. Not like in a stray tear sliding down my cheek subtly kind of way, more like the watching the Notebook when you have your monthly kind of way. It was awkward. But there I went, stumbling through my words trying to impart something that I’d learnt through becoming a Mom.
So very awkward.
The reality is that being a Mom can be overwhelming at times and being the sole person responsible for that little life can make your tummy flutter with anxiety (no matter how involved your partner is, it’s hard to shake that feeling).
Here’s the thing.
I don’t think that was why I couldn’t hold back the tears. I think it’s because I am so excited to share the journey of motherhood with my sister. That she would be able to experience the absolute joy that comes from having a little person of your own to love and cherish. That she too would indulge in ALL the fruits of the hard work invested in her little one.
I can’t explain the change that happens when your baby is placed in your arms. The way your heart fills and expands. The way your mind reboots itself and starts thinking of your child first and yourself last. That feeling you get when you look at them and your heart just sort of skips a beat, does a little jump and erupts all at the same time.
And as we get ready to welcome little Clavid* into the World very soon, I am honoured to share in this journey of motherhood with her (and all of you too).
*A mix between the grandfathers names – Clive and David. A little joke name that they came up with until they share the real name when he is born.
A few pictures of the “not a baby shower” that Mia set up over the weekend.
And the birth necklace. Such a special concept – as you put your bead on you say a little something – it could be advice, a prayer, a thought whatever you want to tell the Mom and baby and then she wears it during the birth of the baby and then it’s hung up in the babies room later.