It’s quite something to be looking down at the child that you painfully pushed out of your nether regions – you know, the one you lovingly rocked to sleep every night and who you feed, clothe and look after to the best of your ability everyday, while she shouts,
“I HATE Mother’s Day!”
But that’s exactly what I had to face this morning.
I suppose I should give you a bit of context right? That might be helpful. So, a couple of weeks ago we took Riya to her trial day at her new school (the school that Kyla currently goes to). And yes, I get that she had a bit of anxiety about the whole thing and was rather nervous, but it’s not something that she only internalises. Oh no. We all heard about it because she woke up crying and refused to get up, get dressed, do her teeth, put on her shoes, or even just move. It was frustrating because I know how she felt but like, get a freaking grip already.
Can you even say that to a 5 year old who has a problem with controlling her emotions? Then again can you even say that to a 29 year old who has a relative hold on her emotions? (In case that’s confusing, I’m totally talking about me, and if you had to say that to me, I might lose control of the relative grip for a moment to throat punch you. Just saying.)
Anyway, she went to the taster day, did her thing and it ended up really not being that bad.
More context. She will not perform for me ever. Never. Want to relive the time she freaked the hell out during a ballet watching day? Here you go.
So this morning she was battling with the fact that she had to go back to Kylas school where she had made a bit of a scene when she was last there and she had to come to terms with the fact that tomorrow she will be doing the same thing for me at her school. Or not doing. Because that’s what she does. Never had a mothers day performance from her – ever! In THREE years guys! Do they ever grow out of it?
Which brings us back to this morning, where she was curled up in bed, shouting, “I HATE Mother’s Day” until she was red in the face.
It was a truly charming, heart warming experience.
I know Mother’s Day is a bit of a heart sore topic sometimes – between the women who have struggled to become mothers and haven’t been able to, the single women who might never have their own babies and everyone else who has lost a mother along the way. It can be difficult to juggle enjoying the day as a Mom yourself and while still being sensitive to others struggles. Plus the conceited, greedy person in me always wants the celebration to be bigger and better than before, you know, the bigger the fuss, the more I must mean to them. But it doesn’t work like that and then I feel dejected and crap. Every single time.
So really, it’s hard enough trying to enjoy a day that’s been set aside to acknowledge all the hard work we do, and that’s without your kid shouting “I hate Mother’s Day” at every available opportunity.
Eventually I think she could tell I was offended. I’m guessing it could maybe have been the way that my face crumpled into sadness that gave me away. But because she’s super emotional, she hates to see other people get upset, so despite her desperate need to work out the nerves and stress she was feeling, she quickly chirped,
“Mommy, I hate Mother’s Day. But I LOVE you!”
And dear friends I have realised that this is what being a Mom is all about isn’t it.
Taking the imperfectness that comes with raising kids and seeing the genuine love they have for you hiding in amongst the hard times. It’s not really about being spoiled with a mountain of presents or spa days or all of those things (although I will happily take them all off your hands), but it’s just about being content with the little people that you have been given to love. And knowing that they really love you too.
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