If having three kids has taught me anything, it’s that having three kids teaches you many things and I have a whole lot more to learn.
(Although let’s be real, this is true of parenting in general – irrespective of how many kids you have.)
However, in my 7 years slogging through this phase of sleepless nights, stinky nappies, school fundraisers and food in the crevices of my car, I have come up with a theory. I’ve applied my super creative imagination and called my theory, “THE RULE OF ONE”.
So here’s the thing.
The Rule Of One is a theory based on the FACT that there is always one kid that’s performing. How they are performing is goes in one of two ways:
Option 1: They are beautiful freaking angels, obedient to a fault.
Option 2: They are little chops whose ears are just ornamental.
To give you an illustration, here’s a snippet of my mornings.
Our alarm goes off. We switch it off. We wake up in panic 15 to 20 minutes later realising that we have all overslept. Frantically jumping up and running into the kids room singing wake up songs at the top of my voice. I ring Kyla’s alarm (a wind up toy that chatters very loudly), but only once because to do it twice is “annoying” apparently. They both groggily wake up. I get out their clothes and put them nicely next to their beautiful little heads.
Then the Rule Of One kicks in.
One of them will take Option 1 – getting dressed with lightening speed, listening perfectly and basically being the dream child. The other will take Option 2 – taking for-freaking-ever to do anything, fighting about clothing choices, not listening and just generally being annoying.
Why is it the rule of one if they are both doing it? Well the thing is they will NEVER both take the same option. If one is great, the other is annoying. Then they swop.
Knox? Well, he’s a thing all on his own. We won’t even go there.
This doesn’t just apply to mornings. It’s everything we do. We go out – one will throw a tantrum. We have friends over – one will lose their minds about nothing and fight. We have supper – one will complain that they hate it.
Please tell me this is not just us?