Disclaimer… This post is going to contain a whole bunch of things you probably wouldn’t want to know about my body and I. If you feel like you can’t read this and still look me in the eye when we chat over coffee, then maybe take this opportunity to close this post and take a big sigh of relief that you’ve dodged the bullet. No really. If you’re sqeamish around the words episiotimy, ripped, cracked and gushed then, this post is really not for you.
4 – 40 weeks
OK.
So, back around 8 years ago, I was a 22 year old girl who thought her body was completely and totally flawed. I couldn’t look in the mirror without picking a new spot on my body to hate. Little did I know that this was the very best that my body would ever look.
Why?
Well, have you had a baby? My good grief. It destroys you. No, that’s not entirely true. It might not have destroyed you, because apparently there are women out there who can be pregnant, birth a baby and breastfeed while still looking like supermodels. But that ain’t me yo! Having babies completely and utterly destroyed me. And right now I know that you’re wanting to know exactly how, so I’m about to share the most disturbing things ever. I’m sorry.
PREGNANCY
The beginning was great! See that picture on the top left there? That’s me around 4 weeks pregnant with Kyla. I was pregnant and I was stoked. I’d push my belly out as far as it would go, just so that I could rub it and really “feel” pregnant. And the best part? NO MORE PERIOD!
Then the morning sickness started. At any given time of the day you could find me hanging over a toilet cursing the very day that I was born. Or if I finally managed to emerge long enough to be in company, I could be seen meekly nibbling Salticrax only to regurgitate them a couple hours later. Thankfully with this pregnancy the all day sickness died out around 13 weeks and then I could carry on like a normal human.
Which meant that I ate ALL the things. I suddenly loved steak which I had never enjoyed before. And frozen mocha milkshakes were my lifeline – they curbed the heart burn and my insatiable appetite all in one go. But they brought with them the very first in the arsenal of body destroyers… THE STRETCHMARK.
One day I was looking at my belly in the mirror when I noticed this disturbing looking crack on my skin. I lifted the ginormous belly up to try and get a better look (totally futile I know) and in the process I actually felt another one being made next to it and suddenly they were all over the under side of my belly. You can see them there in that last picture on the bottom right. Ugh.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, I was positively glowing. No, no, not in the cute way that other pregnant people do. I was glowing because my entire face, neck, back and chest erupted with pimples. They were everywhere and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
BIRTH
Besides the fact that while pregnant, the Doctor occasionally had to shove his entire arm up my nethers, nothing really prepares you for how exposed you’ll be when desperately trying to get that baby out of your body. I lost count of the amount of people that came to inspect how far along I was by casually popping their hands into my bits. Anyway, I had a natural birth, but I’m sure the same can be said for a ceasar – any sense of privacy that you once had has left the building.
By the time that this baby was ready to come out, I was so nervous that I vomited a few times in anticipation. Then my waters had broken all over the bed and even though they had given me an episiotomy, Kyla came out with her hand next to her head or something, and it ripped all the way to the bottom. ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM. The first moments with our baby were kind of kind of disturbed by the huge amount of blood all over the bed. Turns out it had ripped open some of my veins too and well, the result was pretty freaking gross. They had to stitch it all up while we came to terms with being parents for the first time.
And no, I didn’t poo all over the table. I think that would have just been a bit too much to ask for at this point.
While they were weighing Kyla and after they’d stitched me up, I glanced down at my stomach. Imagine my surprise when it didn’t look anything like it did before and instead, resembled a deflated balloon that had been in the sun too long. That’s when I realised there was no coming back from this. Those stretch marks were as wide as my fingers and they were there to stay!
BREASTFEEDING
Ah, if it isn’t just the most natural thing in the World! Not. Ouchy, ouchy. My nipples were cracked and bleeding and we hadn’t even left the hospital yet. I don’t think giving birth is as sore as breastfeeding is. In fact I’m almost positive of this (my opinion may be biased by the fact that I had an epidural). But still. I’m pretty sure that if Kyla was part vampire, she’d have been satisfied with the amount of blood that she drank those first few days.
And let’s just talk about the boobs shall we? Y’all know I cut half of them off a couple years before this right? By the time I got home they had grown back and then some. My boobs now had stretch marks. Ugh. They were hard and huge and just so freaking uncomfortable that I actually cried every time I fed her. There were no soft, sweet bonding moments. It was just tears, pain and crying – from all of us.
So I gave up after like 3 days and tried expressing. But gave that up after like 3 weeks and then we just bottle fed.
WEIRD BODY THINGS
Those things are all pretty normal I guess.
What’s not normal is that I didn’t quite realise how destroyed my pelvic floor was, so when we arrived home from the hospital I was sitting on the couch when suddenly I was peeing all over it. How it happened I still have no idea. One minute I was getting to grips with being home and the next, an entire bladder load of wee was all over the couch…
And the bleeding, the never ending bleeding. I think all those periods that I missed, gathered together to stage a revolt. So much blood. All the blood. For weeks!!! I don’t even think I’m exaggerating when I say it was easily 11 weeks. Which means that yes, as soon it stopped we kind of forgot how babies were made and then well, um…
PREGNANT AGAIN!
Yes, that’s right. After 3 months of not being pregnant, BAM! Baby number two was on her way. And hot damn, my body was suffering. I think at this point I was a pro vomiter as I was doing it all through the pregnancy, for the full 9 months, for the whole damn time! And the stretch marks made new friends. It was rough.
BIRTH
Ripping open old wounds that aren’t all that old, is just really no fun at all.
BREASTFEEDING AGAIN
I was more determined to be successful at breastfeeding this time around. So I persevered for 8 weeks. By the end of it my baby was undernourished, I’d had a round of mastitis and my nipples were sore and cracked they could have cut glass. Over it. So over it.
Also, for those that have struggled to feed their babies with their boobs that were made to do it, isn’t it just the MOST frustrating thing to struggle to feed your baby, but then while you’re sleeping, all the milk explodes all over the sheets? Now use crying over spilt milk, but like, I totally cried.
PREGNANT THE LAST TIME
Still so very sick. All the vomits were happening in our house all the time. I avoided going out or doing anything because I couldn’t handle having to puke in front of everyone. And I was HUGE. Third pregnancies are just wow. Your body gets so big even though I was eating less than I did with any of the others (because I couldn’t keep it down, not because I was starving myself).
THOUGHT IT WAS OVER NOW
After being pregnant and birthing three children, I thought that the worst was over. I was wrong.
I don’t know if it’s because of these children that emerged from my body or in spite of it but flip, my body is messed up. I’m not even talking about the finger wide stretch marks that cover my boobs, stomach and thighs or even the weight that I gained (but now thankfully managed to lose). No, no. I’m talking about…
- Weird periods – so painful on the first and second day that my right leg quite literally goes dead.
- How I have to have bra’s in 3 or 4 different sizes to managed what my boob are doing at any given time of the month. They are skilled in ranging from sexy deflated balloon to oddly sized PMSING crazy woman.
- I can no longer trust a sneeze, cough or even a laugh. Those pelvic muscles have just never, ever recovered.
63 comments
Yup, that about sums it up nicely 🙂 I struggle with my tummy that looks like I’m in the early stages of another pregnancy – yes, I know that I can do something about it, but I am so tired that I don’t have the energy to do anything! Looking at the saggy tummy hanging over my underwear in the mirror when changing is just depressing. And my Caesar scar!!!
I’m so with you on having the energy to change it. i just cancelled my gym contract and I feel great!! 😉
3 mounths pregnant and you just scared the shit out of me.
It’ll be OK! I promise. Even with all this stuff that happens, it’s still so worth it!
“I can no longer trust a sneeze, cough or even a laugh. Those pelvic muscles have just never, ever recovered.” THIS. Im right there with you sister 😉
It’s so bad!!!
Thanks for this amazing post! I really enjoyed reading about your experience! 🙂
I’ve always said that I wanted to have kids but the birthing part scares me to no end!
The thought of giving birth, the ripping, the blood….too much for me.
Although I will most likely end up having 3 kids one day! haha
It’s flipping scary but it really is so worth it (feel free to roll your eyes ever so heavily at that mandatory comment from any parent). But really, for a lifetime of fun, those 9 months are easy 😉
I’m not sure whether I should laugh or cry at this post.
For pregnant people reading here – I have a surefire way to NOT get stretchmarks….choose the right mother. Apparently it’s all in the genetics, and all those people that tell you they used whatever product and didn’t get stretchmarks, they have their mother to thank.
For the actual birth, I could completely handle the baby coming out, I couldn’t handle every person in the hospital sticking their hands and needles and everything inside me.
And lastly, try and find a physio specialising in pelvic floors. If you want horrific details for what can happen if you don’t then email me. Don’t even try to do kegels, can just make it worse.
Thanks Rene! Oh no – I thought the worst was over but you’re saying the whole pelvic floor thing can get even worse?! Flip!! Give me all the details you have right now!
Well done for having three, even though you get so ill. I have two little boys 18 months apart and would a little girl! I hope my husband gets on board. Body does take a pounding!
Yeah it was definitely something to consider before we had Knox but we knew our family wasn’t complete with just the two. I hope your family isn’t complete yet either and that you take the plunge for number 3 🙂
First off, lady you look amazing…not like someone who had one kid let alone 3 :0
And now onto the topic on hand. I don’t think my tummy will ever be flat again. Pregnancy and breastfeed have wrecked my boobs, stretch marks are all over the place and sometimes I still get weird pain at the cut site of my c. *sigh* Children are not for the fainthearted.
Preach sister preach! Children are most definitely not for the faint of heart!
Such a true post. I have a 5 month old who I love to bits. He was 5 weeks early, so the breastfeeding thing did not work, cause he couldn’t latch. Stretchmarks, I have them in spades and I can’t stand to see it in the mirror. Tummy is still flabby. Not sure if we will have a number 2, cause I am waaaaaay to self conscious about my body. ? Thanks for the post, always fun to read it.
Hi Jana! I know what you mean, but having another one can’t really make it worse right? 😉
I love this post! So much. It makes me feel normal! Weird periods, hormone imbalance, weight gain and struggle, the breastfeeding (which I’m proud to say I manage to keep at for a year), the raw nipples, the mastitis, the piles, the stretch marks that look like a 5 year old tattooed tinsel where ever the fuck it wanted, the mood swings….and I only have one child! Most of that I can hide or block out of my memory, but it’s the weight struggle that gets me the most. Spending my 20’s weighing around 55kg’s max and suddenly rocketing to almost 80!! And I just can’t lose it 🙁
Oh my word Kim, you just reminded me of another terrible thing – PILES! Oh my gosh, as if it all wasn’t bad enough! The weight was a super struggle for me too, the only thing that really worked was cutting sugar, grain and dairy. It’s freaking hard and I want to cheat every day, but I’m the thinnest I’ve ever been. Maybe it’s worth a shot?
Wow, I feel se same! Only have one baby and terrified to become pregnant again – cant stand the horrific nausea and body pains! Well done on surviving 3 pregnancies! As for the birth part, I had a c-section, but took me MONTHS to recover from the body invasion trauma from nurses and doctors! Cant believe I have to do this again in the nearby future (because I cant just have one kid). O goodness!! Love your blog!
You can do it Surina! As you know it’s totes worth it so those few months of trauma will end and you’ll be better off for it. But that said, I thought I was pregnant again this month thanks to a late period and I was so very close to freaking the heck out!
Oh my goodness you just scared the hell out of me. A very realistic version of what could possibly happen. But ofcourse so worth it.
Sorry man, but I know how keen you are to have babies – it won’t put you off for long 😉
*sigh* After reading this the thought of having children is even more scary! Thank you for all the detail and saying it how it is! ♥
The weird thing is that it probably won’t scare you off for long. When you want a baby the broody overtakes any logic 😉
Yes i know we are privileged to be able to carry our babies and iam so grateful for that, but yes could do with out the stretch marks the flabby belly that wont seem to go away ( maybe cause i don’t exercise 🙂 ) also the fabulous tear i got giving birth, but considering all that guess what iam about to pop my second baby 🙂
LOL, it’s weird how it doesn’t really put us off hey? Like even though that all happened, it’s already happened, so having another isn’t really that bad.
LOVED this post so much, and relate to it on so many levels. Reading about your hoo-haa ripping all the way (FOR REAL???) makes me pretty stoked that I had a c-section! Ouch. Hats off for managing to pull off pregnancy and birth three times… I’m still recovering from the first!
Yeah I wish I was joking about that one, but it’s really real 😉 I think doing it all together helps because it doesn’t give you time to reflect on stuff like this haha
Very refreshing not to have to read another sweet detailed birth story. Loved your ‘ to the point’ version. After my 3 babies, fairly back to back pregnancies, I find my coccyx to bother me the most because when I do ab work laying flat, my coccyx tends to hurt. So I workout with a little cushioning for my bottom to rest on.
I also have that issue when lying on my back trying to do ab work (which really isn’t that often at all). I wonder if it’ll ever ease up?
“and it ripped all the way to the bottom.” That was me too… gross, embarrassing, and painful all at the same time. I sat on a donut cushion for the next few months! ?
On the other side of it though, you have such cute kids. I’ve NEVER had weird feelings like these, until the other day when I read one of your posts with gorgeous pics of the three of them… I showed the pics to Shawn, and told him it’s the FIRST time in all these years I feel we made a mistake not having more! What are you doing to me lady?? Eeeeeekk!!!
LOL, sorry man! Maybe it’s not too late to have another 😉
Hahaha. I’ve only had one so far. After about 6 months I tried my first trail run. I managed to finish, but soaking wet as I pee’d myself. And then my daughter decides she wants to breastfeed. Well my husband had to wash us both down when we got home. Not my proudest moment
Oh my goodness Tanya! That’s hilarious but not hilarious if you know what I mean.
Three babies later… I am coming to terms with 4 kg extra weight (per child) which I will probably carry forever. I’m still breast feeding my 6 month old. I kind if prefer the four different sizes of boobs in a day to the flat and flabby which I know is imminent. The one thing which I have found makes me feel so much better (think pelvic floor, core strength, super Mamma) not that it had helped how I look (probably thanks to the excess baggage) is pilates. I recommend classes to everyone I meet.
I am so keen try some kind of pilates or yoga or something, but I struggle so much with the time thing. Ugh
I can relate on almost all levels. Though I had three all natural births. And u know how skinny I was in high school… Well with my last pregnancy I reached almost 90kgs!!!! Without indulging in junk food. I am too afraid to loose my tummy as the saggy wrinkled skin is already making me sick. I have given up on my boobs and always carry pantyliners incase. But I would do it again for those three monkeys.
Exactly – it’s funny how even though we know how bad it is, we’d still do it again anyway!
2 babies down… 1 HUGE baby delivered naturally (3,9kg) and one premy (35 weeks) born via emergency c – section (1,8kg) I’ve decided I’m done… no more babies for me! I had ALL of the above with first pregnancy… vomiting right into my 3rd trimester…. don’t talk about the hormone craziness… not too sure if it’s my Indian dad’s terrible hairy genes or just 1 of the horrible side effect of pregnancy, but the bigger my belly got, the hairier I got? I was like Chewbaccas cousin… but through all the piles, nausea, weight gain, stretchmarks and and and… I can’t trade them for the world. It was worth it❤
LOL Chantal you’re hilarious! Chewbaccas cousin haha!
OMW…..you just made my day, sooooo I am not the only one going through this.
I am 29 weeks pregnant with a boy and my baby girl is 13 months old, and doll, I totally know what you are talking about.
Its funny however, that I complain about this daily and sometime sit and think about how messed up everything is (my body obviously) and stressing about coping with 2 babies, and my girl is SO damn clingy, and yet, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I had a terrible labor experience, went in to pre labor at week 36, walked around like this for a week, week 37 came and everything felt different, so of to the hospital we go, WONDERFUL news, baby Addison is on her way, I am fingerwidth dilated, and in early labor, he sent me home saying that he will see me in 6 to 7 hours, I must walk around and get everything ready……Now, I was very much adamant to have a ceaser, but we all know what baby hormones do to a person, ALL NATURAL WITH NO EPIDURAL OR LAUGHING GAS, we were gonna do this old school ….. as the bible say in Genesis 3:16 : “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children” so I was gonna be STRONG!!! Hah!!! after 9 hours of active labor and labor pains ONLY in my back, (felt as if someone was constantly breaking my back in 3 different areas) i had no progress, the fingerwidth progressed into 1cm dilated which progresses to NOTHING!!! Emergency C Section!!!!! That is all I heard, soooooo I FREAKED OUT!!!! This wasn’t part of the plan!!! I didn’t prepare for a C Section!!! I have never been so afraid in my life!!! So scared, didn’t even feel the spinal block!!!!
The anaesthesiologist was a total DICK asking me “WHAT IS YOUR STORY, WHY ARE YOU HAVING A C SECTION???” read the chart asshole, No progress!!!! In theatre, lying there open in front of so many people, I went into hyper panic attack mode, I couldn’t breath, my husband told the anaesthesiologist, in which he responded in a typical asshole way ” I HAVE YOU LINKED UP TO THE MONITOR, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, YOU ARE BREATHING DIFFERENTLY DUE TO YOUR SPINAL BLOCK, YOU ARE FINE” asshole x 1 000 000 be a little sensitive please!!!!!
Then the Peadiatrician came, what a sweet man, he gave one look at me, and stopped everyone, he rubbed my cheek and said, “The worst part is over my darling, you are in good hands, if you want, I can hold your other hand for you but it looks like your husband has it under control” , ANGEL SENT FROM HEAVEN!!!! was my immediate thought, and he introduced everyone to me and then said that they could carry on, I felt sooooo much better!!!! phewwww
Then the gynae came, you only hear funny sounds, can’t see a thing, thank goodness, and the tugging, and pulling, and its all so very frightening as you don’t know what the hell they are doing to your body, and for a second there I realised, my body was never gonna be the same again, weighing a whooping 93.2kg where my average weight was 56kg, and this pulling and washing dishes in my stomach, NOPE can never be the same again!!!! I was so scared, my husband held my hand and pressed his cheek on mine, (he doesn’t do well with blood) and he tried to make me feel better, told me to vision us driving on a bumpy road, and going over hills and driving over holes, Shame, he tried, and although I DIDN’T vision that, listening to him made me feel better, “just carry on talking” was all I could say to him, “CAMERA” , “hills and holes” , “CAMERA” , “hills and holes”, and I realised, as the gynae was trying to get his attention as baby was out, to take a picture, my husband was caught up in his vision of hills and holes and bumpy roads, lol!!! It was only when I looked at him and said, “Camera, she is here” that he looked up and there he went, he was sooooo in love with her, immediately, and when I heard her cried and saw her, she was soooo tiny, all my fears and worries just went away and was replaced with exitement!!! Off they go, I am being stitched up, and into recovery, and all I can think off was my little girl, I was in another world.
The first time I saw him after she was born, he said to me that she is the most perfect thing he has ever seen, and she has the maot beautiful voice ever!! Seeing my hubby like this made my heart sank even deeper, he has soooo much love for this little miracle, it was amazing, it was perfect, It was all I ever dreamt about and even more!!!!
Well, night 1 was ok, apart from the nurses pulling your nipples and man handling your boobs, it was still perfect, the 3 of us bonding as a family, tired as crap but soooo worth it!!! They asked if they couls leave her with us coz she was screaming everytime they took her back to the nursery, so we had the whole deal, from night 1, it was PERFECT!!!!
Day 1 after having baby came to a huuuugggeeee suprise, No one can prepare you for that first time you get up, SO MUCH BLOOD!!! OMW!!! IS THIS EVEN NORMAL???? and even after ALL THAT BLOOD, I also bled for 12 weeks afterwards aaarrrgggghhhh and as you know, no tampons, only pads aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!
Breastfeeding – now well, whenbyour baby is born 3 weeks early, and she doesn’t want to work for her milk, AND you are in the process of getting mastitis, AND she is feeding once every 12 hours, AND she turns yellow, AND youbare freaking out, now well, FREAKING OUT, is a understatement!!!! Off to Antenatal midwive, she would know what to do, and long story short, I had to give my baby a bottle, she not only had yellow jaundice which needs her to wee and poo it out, she also had a sunken fontanelle. First bottle of formula, she drank 60ml, she was sooooo hungry, I felt like the worse person EVER!!! First my body let me down when I was in labor, then my boobs let me down with the breastfeeding!!! The emotions, omw, you can’t describe them, when I think back about them today, I laugh, but at that point, it wasn’t a laughing matter AT ALL!!! As the first bottle of formula was in her stomach, I took my first smoke after 37 weeks!!! And it was heavenly, I was feeling normal again hehehehehehe
I had it easy, easy baby, woke up once inthe night for a bottle, started sleeping through at 5 weeks, took her everywhere, went on holiday, went to the beach, went to the mall, life went back to normal, although I had a baby, she was a little angel!!!
She was about 5 to 6 months old when I realised that something was up, took a pregnancy test just for in case, WHOOP BAM HELOOOO PREGNANCY NO. 2, Clearblue immediately showed, pregnant, 2 tot 3 weeks, omw!!!!! We decided to only have 1 baby, now we are not only having 2 children, but our firstborn is still a baby herself, and almost immediately, she started being sooooo clingy, jusy want her mommy, all the time, and although she was a very tiny baby at birth, she grew over the months, and at 6 months she weighed 8.9 kgs, now at 13 months she weighs 12kgs, and although she loooooves rubbing her little brother in mommy’s tummy and kissing the tummy, she doesn’t care, I must still bath her and carry her around everywhere, which I am not complaining about, its just been quite tough on my back and I get tired soooo quickly, and doesn’t matter how much hubby is trying to help me, she wants her MOMMA.
No one can also prepare you for the strain this can put on your marraige, you don’t really have time for one another, and with no 2 on his way, I dont see us having time for one another for the next 2 to 3 years, but I still do love my husband, and he loves me, and although we could kill eachother daily, I know that God has a plan for our family, and he would never put upon us something we can’t handle, he will guide us and help us. We will get through this as a family, and YES I also cant trust an sneeze and a laugh, and he knows about that too, we laugh about it and I just pee myself even more, and when those moments happen, then you realise, with all these flaws, and tough times, it is all worth it, children are such blessings, and I might never be seen in a bikini in the public ever again, but that is ok, I have 2 kiddies and a loving husband, and that is ALL I NEED IN LIFE!!!!
Strongs to all mommies and mommies to be, God made us strong enough to handle all of this, and stilk be beautiful!!!! map of the world on your stomach, boobs and thighs, it doesn’t matter!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU NOT ONLY WITNESSED BUT ALSO LIVED THROUGH A MIRACLE, THE MIRACLE OF LIFE!!!!!
I had my first cesarean op in 2014. And in 2015 had to have a laparoscopy done to remove my right ovary and an orange sized cyst on the cesarean cut. I thought I wouldn’t have kids anymore but just 7 months later I got pregnant again. To have 3 cuts on the same place took its toll on my tummy and still hurts like crazy. I am hoping some tummy exercises will help. The stretch marks as far as I’m concerned remain my battle scars.
Just had my first baby and your article completely sums it up and why are women afraid to be real and just tell it like it is I thought I was alone because this is exactly how I felt and afraid to be misunderstood I do love my son with all my heart
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! And as crazy as it is – we keep doing it to ourselves! I was saved by my c-sections and recovered well and had no pain… I cannot even imagine the ripping or pelvic issues!
You had nausea and vomiting every time – how did you keep doing it? I would have had four kids if I hadn’t been bed ridden this pregnancy with HG!!!! I just cannot do it again!
x
hahahah Cindy I love this! mmmm birth, I didn’t struggle too much with the actual birth, I was in too much pain to care about people walking in and out the room and allowing themselves into my space.
I have lied about and denied this before but I did poop and I think that was the most horrifying aspect. How does a grown person poop in public :/ ?!? I’m still a bit mortified. I had a tiny bit of tearing , no stiches required and healed amazingly quickly being 19 might have helped… I don’t know.
My boobs died a painful death, they died died died! I was left with horrible teabags, granny boobies. I recall years after Indi not being able to have sex without keeping my bra on. I’ve since accepted and appreciate the way that I am.
Stretchmarks hehehe I am now a being with many beautiful lines, with one short one just below my belly button. That one I love, it was the only one on my actual tummy.
Last thing would be lower back pain, it started during pregnancy and still exists . It feels like my hips were disconnected and never went back, although I’m sure they tried.
I’ve heard of women who have far worse motherhood stories, but we all have one thing in common – we carried and birthed beautiful little people. What a blessing we have all been given no matter the journey.♡
You definitely need to go to a physio that specialised in pelvic floor reeducation. It doesn’t help if you are trying to do kegels if you don’t know what you are doing. If you leave it you can become incontinent and even have a full uterine prolapse which is where the uterus drops down into your vagina. I have had 3 kids,big babies too and after each baby went to a physio for pelvic floor reeducation and I can sneeze with a full bladder and stay dry.
I need to get on this. It’s usually ok, but there are times where things just go so very wrong 😉
I know having children is scary and your body will never be the same but I love every stretshmark saggy boobs because I gain children 2 precious babys . there are women out there that dreams of the stretch marks and saggy boobs just to have that bundle of joy so you are all so bless to have children I know women that is destroyed cause there is no change of ever having children
Thanks for your post, brought back a lot of memories. My “baby” is 17 yrs now. I had everything that you mentioned but looking back now its just the blessings of motherhood that I remember. Enjoy every bit of every stage that they go through because before you realise it, they are all grown up.
That’s the scary thing isn’t it?! How quickly they grow up and all of this just fades away.
This takes me back to sitting in the bath, compulsory handful of course salt added, with episiotomy scar/tear and cracked nipples and trying to remember a time without pain and praying to God that this pain would please seize at some point.
So happy that it’s over and done with 3 years on.
Oh man, I remember those salt baths! And totally with you, glad it’s over but grateful that it happened.
Thank you for being such an honest and open person. You make it possible for the rest of us to also admit that we struggle and we can’t always cope.
I have three beautiful babes and with each one breast feeding was a nightmare. Cracked and ripped nipples right up to 6 weeks and then a breeze for the rest of the 8 months I breastfed baby #1 and #2. Now on princess #3 and still struggling to breastfeed properly and she is 3 months! I decided to wean gradually over a course of 2 weeks but still managed to get a bad case of mastitis. On antibiotics now and have rock solid breasts, with stabbing pain going into my chest. I can’t seem to focus on anything else and feel very sorry for myself.
Reading your blog makes me hopeful and I know this is just a phase. Thanks for the great blog!
Hey Veda – thanks so much for your comment. So sorry that you are going through a rough time right now with the breastfeeding – it’s rough!! I hope that you get it sorted soon and feel so much better about it all. And above all, remember that you really are not alone 🙂
“Weird periods – so painful on the first and second day that my right leg quite literally goes dead.”
I thought I was the only one! I have tried to explain it to various different doctors, gyneas and who-knows-who but all I get are blank stares… What’s up with this?!
No ways!! You get it too?! I thought I was the only one?! I haven’t even bothered going to my docs about it yet because I thought I might get this kind of response!
Oh my goodness! I can only imagine what everyone went through who comment here! The only thing which blows my mind is why this discussion will never happen in the open during conversations between woman at social gatherings with friends, family or acquaintances, or that is what I am experiencing at least. Woman can’t stop going on about the incredible joy it is to give birth and there is absolutely no talks of after effects etc. Can it be true that what is/was mentioned here is being kept under wraps by most woman? Not sure why though…maybe because society expect woman to get pregrant and just deal with it no matter the consequence/ experience? Please educate me 🙂
I think woman in general try to hide it as it might scare of mothers to be, or woman wanting to start families, discussing what was mentioned above would have scared the living day lights out of me if I had read it before having kids. I’d gladly speak about it as I would rather other woman know what they in for and plan accordingly, however, saying that, all pregnancies are different. My number one was a 4 hour “natural” vacuum birth with a spinal block, number 2 was “lets try this without medicine” and ended up in labor for 36 hours before opting for an epidural and now currently expecting number 3…. So making plans on this one, a little too late, but I was never warned about what was going to happen or how to prep my body with number 1, I would have loved that.
I just found out I’m pregnant… and this has made me rethink this decision we have made! I wish the baby could just grow in a little incubator for 9 months and then our bodies wont go through so much!
Mother of one, I never experienced body modifications due to pregnancy. Was vomiting throughout the nine months. Had an episiotomy and voilà my baby girl was there! Breastfeeding was a real bonding moment for me. That was ten years ago. I am considering having another child …. now your post just freaked me out. … Scared but I will. Babies are worth all the trouble
Lol, I quite enjoyed reading your post… currently 17 weeks with number 3 and I relate to most things….even now, trusting a sneeze or cough is difficult…. and having a warm cup of any liquid, pregnant or not, will send me to the bathroom atleast 8 times per cup, I should be employed as a toilet tester ahahaha.
Stretchmarks… I think that’s all I have lol there ain’t no skin anymore and lookin at my boobs this morning….what a shame…. 38DD of pure sag… *sigh* I actually started contemplating giving breastfeeding a miss in this one just so theres a little bit of dignity left in the bedroom when I re-emerge from hibernating a baby.
However, I am glad there are moms out there with a sense of humor about their bodies after pregnancy, helps us others not feel so alone 🙂
Wow! Great to know im not the only one. Had mine by c-section, but not before they tried forcing the natural way by cutting my nethers, ow and not forgetting the forceps ow yea and getting induced. But after all that, I’d never trade him for anything in the world.
[…] the problem friends – having 3 little people expelled from your body doesn’t help your memory. I used to know why, but I […]