Ever Get The Feeling You Are Being Watched…

The time that I used to spend alone in the toilet/shower/bath/bed and where ever else I used to take “alone time” for granted has become a blur of fuzziness in my memory.  Was it real or was it just a dream?  It had to have been real right?  I wasn’t always being watched by four little eyes that are at the wrong height level for, well, pretty much everything….

For a moment let’s just consider what they are actually doing.  They are willingly and in most cases willfully joining you in a very private moment of life.  They join you to see you do a wee wee.  I can handle that, I can see the intrigue, not that it’s helped at all with potty training but that’s totally another story.  But for a poo?  Seriously?  I cannot understand how they WANT to come and join in on the stink fest just because they feel like it.  Maybe their nasal passages are not developed enough to process the smell yet?  It’s the only logical reason that I can think of for enduring this smelly torture.  Nevermind the fact that Kyla always wants to throw toilet paper between my legs…  Oh the drama.  When I tell her that I am going to the toilet, the very first words out of her mouth are, “door opie?!”  (door open)…  Oh woe is you who closes the door you will be subjected to a death stare and screaming that could be used to torture terrorists.

Then there is the simple act of a shower.  Normally we manage to get this one right, where the one parent looks after the brood while the other takes a shower break.  But sometimes the girls just love me so much they demand to watch me shower.  I know it’s my job to teach them things, but when they are at a stage where they repeat everything they see I am fearing the day when they will lift up my top to show the world my “spider web” of stretch marks.  But this one I can deal with…

For those of you that don’t let your children sleep in your bed – well done to you and your resolve.  I really and truly admire you.  In our house though, we are not quite as resolved.  We succumb to the method that gets us the most sleep…  Well, let’s say the most “sleep”.  Now that Kyla has a “big girl bed” we have less nights that we are both subjected to the awesomeness of co-sleeping.  But for the last couple of nights Kyla hasn’t even cried in her room, she has just wondered over to us with her “Oo-Aa” (monkey sleep toy) and climbs into bed with us.  Sometimes we don’t even notice.  Now if you are a parent and you have not seen this, enjoy (courtesy of 9GAG)

We have experienced all of these positions and more, my favourite being the Stalker which is Riya’s most favoured position and the Donkey Kong – which (thankfully) we have yet to experience.  One that they didn’t get, which is very similar to the scarf, is the hat or maybe more aptly, the mask…  Both girls went through a phase when they literally slept on my face…