How To Make Friends in 3 Easy Steps – By Riya-Ray

This is Riya’s “how to” lesson on How To Make Friends.  Take notes.  It totally works.

Step 1

Approach your new prospective friend like a tiger crawling up to prey – slowly and with a menacing look on your face.  It’s also helpful to make sure your hair is as wild as possible to add to the effect.  Disregard the curious look you may get from the prey, uh, I mean future friend and keep approaching them until you hit Step 2.

Step 2

Put yourself directly in their line of sight while preferably cornering them into a tight space that they cannot escape.  Placing your hand on their leg will intensify the fear, um, I mean respect, that they are building towards you.  Get ready for Step 3.

Step 3

Move in for the stare down which involves pushing your face as close to theirs as possible while blankly staring directly into your friends eyes without blinking.  Wait for them to break the trance, which will lead to them knowing that you won and will forever be their master…  I mean friend.  Then walk away and pretend that nothing happened.