On Sunday I leave my 20’s behind.
Yup, I’m about to head into my 30’s. Good old thirty. Honestly I’m not thaaat fussed about the number. Although any birthday forces me to reflect about everything that I have ever done in my entire life, thirty seems even more daunting. It’s not really the age that scares me, but it’s the expectations that go with it that I’m worried about. It’s kind of where you’re expected to have all your crap together and you know, like, adult like an adult already.
I suppose that on the outside, I do carry the appearance of being a fully functioning adult. The kids, a job, a husband, what what. It’s all there and the boxes are ticked. But is it weird that I still often feel like a teenager trying to bluff my way around this whole being an adult thing? Never mind the whole Mom thing where you’re supposed to know everything without Googling it.
Does that change when you turn thirty? Do you suddenly know everything? Or do you wake up no longer caring that you don’t know everything?
I suspect it’s the later. I’ve heard from so many of my older friends that turning thirty was a breeze – they loved it. In fact, it’s one of the best times of their lives. Being totally unphased about other peoples perceptions of them. I’m trying to embrace that outlook on life, so…
Well, here’s me.
Unlike the beautiful picture that Josie took of me up there, this is the real me. Unmade up, unfiltered and really unlike the image that I try and portray to the World everyday with my layers of make up.
This is what I look like at 29.
Not perfect but perfectly me.
Hopefully it’s not what I’ll still look like at the end of my first year being 30, but it is what it is. I am who I am.
Yeah I know, despite being almost thirty, I still have the skin of a 16 year old. Great for the wrinkles. Not so great for everything else. (I’m starting the process to fix this on Friday, so please pray that this new treatment plan really works and that I will one day actually feel like a normal person. I’ve got a whole lot more to say on this but I don’t want it to hijack this post, so I’ll get it out in another post sometime. Maybe.)
Anyway. Here’s to the 30’s.
Here’s to embracing the real me even though I’ll still choose not to show it to the people in my environment every day (because shame man, they don’t have to witness this). Here’s to learning to accept the things I cannot change and to changing the things I can. Here’s to not turning this into that AA prayer that they say.
Here’s to happy birthdays!