You Came Here Looking For What Now?

I often wonder how people end up on this little corner of the massive Interwebs.  Like seriously, what could have possibly brought you here to see what I have to say?  Then I stumbled on the “search terms” that real people have searched and ended up here.

But yet, I find myself even more confused than before.

The alarming thing is that this seems to be a regular occurrence – here’s the first post I did on this sometime last year.

Here are a few of the “unusual” search terms that have lead people astray and dumped them here.  I can’t help you – I promise.

“sometimes:you just have to throw on a crown” –  MmmmHmmm girl, I agree.  Throwing on a crown can very well solve most problems – mostly because people will be amazed that you were able to do it on the 4th throw – it always takes me at least 10 tries to get my head in the right place.

“interracial mini-me” –  Oh wow.  My cloning skills are a bit rusty although the creation of the first Mini Me didn’t go well in Austin Powers either.  Maybe it’s best to just skip this one altogether.

“how to makle friends in 3 steps” –  Aaah yes, now I see why you have landed up here.  We know all about making friends.  Although, a heads up in making online friends means spell checking all your content – everyone’s a closet grammar Nazi these days so it’s really hard to “makle” any friends without it.

“picture of a spartan riding a unicorn” –  I’m sure this would just break the internet but at least it would be a lot more appealing than a big bum.  Because unicorns.

“im not your mother” –  No really.  I’m not your mother.

“inhale turps” – Don’t let this post fool you – I don’t know much about any kind of actual labour, especially not the kind that involves the use of turps.  However I can say that when inhaling turps and wondering if it’s fatal – you will not find any help here.  You’d probably find more help at, um, I don’t know, a Doctor?

“i’m new to lisa” – Lisa must be very important to you.  Last time you popped in here was because it was “lisas birthday whoop whoop” and now you’re ready to stop being a stalker and actually be introduced.  I always find that a great introduction goes something along the lines of, “Hello Lisa, I’m Lisa.”  As evidenced by my most embarrassing moment ever.

“why my sister in law brain wash my wife” – I kind of get the feeling that you might be living in the real life version of Days of our Lives.  I don’t know why your sister in law brain washed your wife, but I’d say it’s about time to hightail it on outta there.  You’ll be next – unless your wife kills you in your sleep of course.

“an apple on my shoulder” – I’d prefer a chip on my shoulder any day.

Until next time…