Currently

What a draining week it’s been.

Why?  Well, I’m not sure exactly.  The kids are all fine, Seth is recovering from his cold and by all other means that one usually measures the satisfaction of life, things are great!  And yet I’m sitting here tapping away at the keyboard with my mind a million miles away and my heart feeling like it moving towards my kidneys, it’s just got this sinking feeling that I just can’t figure out.  Logically speaking, one should be able to identify why they feel like crap despite the copious amount of good around them right?  Why do emotions just keep defying logic?  It’s annoying.

Sorting out: Sometime last year Knox had a hearing test done through his school.  They flagged that we should probably take him to have it retested and checked.  I might have even spoken about it on the blog at some point (because I tend to do that).  So obviously I immediately took him to go and have it checked, right?  Right?  Uh…  Um.   Well…  Hey look at that unicorn!

Did that distract you enough to pre-empt the huge amount of judgement that I deserve on not being a capable mother?  Damnit.  Well, the good news is your judgement is just adding to my own guilt, especially now that he’s had this years hearing test done and WE’RE STILL BEING REFERRED.  Just when I was hoping it would have cleared naturally and I could pat myself on the back for not completely failing as a mother.   BUT I got my butt in gear and we’re seeing the specialist this Friday to see what’s what.

Anyone else had to do this?  What was the end result here?  Grommits?

Reading: I have been studiously ploughing through “A Time To Die” by Wilbur Smith – it feels like it’s never going to end.  But guys, I just don’t even know how to feel about it!  In terms of the writing style, I can’t fault him.  I am consistently wanting to sneak away and devour a few more chapters.  The way he writes is knowledgeable and not at all repetitive and annoying like the ones that I have read recently.  BUT, it’s set in the pre-apartheid era and even as a white woman, I am constantly shocked by some of the content.  You can see that it’s not explicitly racist but some of the descriptions etc are blatantly so.  Is this just something we accept because it’s written and set back then, so it’s sort of historical fiction?  I just don’t know what to think.  I’d love to hear your thoughts if you have recently read any of his books and how you felt reading them.

Re-discovering:  The self hate and fear that came with the acne that I had.  The last time I spoke about it was when I was one week in to the second course of Roaccutane (actually the Oratane – the cheaper generic option).  I never bothered properly recapping the end because when you suddenly have amazing skin, you forget all the troubles that you previously had and live your best life.  I didn’t discuss the fact that my cholesterol went up a full 2 points and put me above the “danger” mark and since then I have been having chest pains that I never had before.

The fact that even though I have been using the topical roaccutane cream on my face has helped keep it at bay for quite a while now.  But it’s starting again and I am feeling sick at the thought of going through it all again.  If I end up looking like this again, I don’t even know.  I just don’t even know.

For a look back at the progression on the treatment, go here.

Discussing:  Being a parenting blogger.  Or more specifically a Mommy Blogger.  What is a Mommy blogger you ask?  Well, apparently we are defined by using too many exclamation marks, punting too many products, buying followers, never giving our honest options, only posting about happy things and despite all of that, no one even reads it anyway, so whatever.

I won’t even link to the article because she’s had enough airtime in causing a stir about it (which is no doubt exactly what she wanted), but it did get me thinking.  I’ve been feeling a strong pull to go back to how I used to blog, I have written about this in the last couple of weeks at various points because it’s something that overshadows a lot of my thoughts about this blog and how I want to carry on with it.

Obviously the pull (read, extreme pressure) is there to get a good following, loads of comments, press drops and loads of sponsored content but at what cost?  I am not adverse to working with brands that we love (you’ll see sponsored content on here every now and then) but it will never overcome this blog.  Our story will always be paramount.  Any sponsored content has a real life story that goes with it.  Still boring?  Maybe, but I make sure it’s a post that I would have shared even if the product didn’t make a feature.

Long story short, I want to commit to you that this space will never be overcome with anything other than us.  Will we feature products that we’ve used that help us survive in this crazy parenting situation?  YES.  Will I sell me soul to get it?  NO.  The end.

Excited About:  Not having to make supper for the next few weeks.  We’re trying out The Flying Pan and I could do a Beyonce break dance manoeuvre to show my happiness but I might just throw out my back.  Because I’m older than I look.

Planning:  A small blog revamp.  I’ve suspected that the current home page situation is a bit off putting – without jumping into a post, you have no idea what we are all about.  Too many options, weirdly stretched or squashed images and a lack of direction on the homepage is the current situation and I’m hoping to change it to a clean, easy to navigate space, but one that is still very much us.  Can it be done?  I wonder.

Could you tell me how you feel about the current homepage?  What kind of blog set ups do you enjoy reading?  Link to them so I can check them out 🙂

 

 

Wow, that’s a lot of words so it might be time to make like a banana and…

split.